1. Excuse me, abs are made in the kitchen.
I don’t need to work out if I eat kale all day, right?
2. If it zips, it fits.
Who needs to breathe?
3. Trust me. It’s a lifestyle change, not a diet.
I’m a "sometimes vegan," and I don’t eat dairy. Except for ice cream. But that doesn't count.
4. Always take 5 pounds off what the scale says to represent everything that isn’t fat.
My hair probably weighs 3 pounds.
5. Black is slimming.
Black dresses, black pants, black shirts, black coats, black shoes, black everything.
6. Beyoncé is bootylicious.
She is flawless. Sometimes it's nice to pretend we look alike.
7. Counting calories is a science.
But really I'm tracking how many calories I need to save so I can have gelato and wine tonight.
8. Walking up the stairs to class is a work out.
'Why isn’t anyone else this winded?' She thinks to herself as she reaches the top stair.
*she breathes heavily*
*she tries to hide heaving breathing by pretending to be annoyed with everyone so she can huff and puff all she wants. Everyone thinks she's irritated, and no one knows it's because she's just really out of shape.*
(True story).
*she breathes heavily*
*she tries to hide heaving breathing by pretending to be annoyed with everyone so she can huff and puff all she wants. Everyone thinks she's irritated, and no one knows it's because she's just really out of shape.*
(True story).
9. Healthy food isn't that expensive.
Well, there goes next month’s rent, but at least I have organic baby spinach.
10. I can cheat on the weekends. What could go wrong?
Breakfast, brunch, lunch, afternoon snack, early dinner, later dinner, desert, and late night snacks happen in one day. No judgment.
Photos courtesy of: www.thetribeonline.com, www.kimchisweettea.com, auto-chess.blogspot.com, and therunningbug.co.uk